Hi guys, I am so excited about today's post. Today, I want to introduce you to one of my favorite self-development authors, Shannon Kaiser.
Shannon is a bestselling author, entrepreneur, writer, teacher, life coach, business and author mentor, and an international speaker. Her new book The Self-Love Experiment is out today (8/29/2017) for the world to enjoy, and she is here for a little Q&A regarding this passion project. Enjoy!
- How does this new book, The Self-Love Experiment, differ from your other books?
The Self-Love Experiment is the most open and vulnerable I’ve ever been. It’s a memoir infused self-help book where I peel back the layers of my life and share openly about the greatest struggles I’ve had with food, accepting my body, and learning how to love myself. As I share my own story I invite readers to create their own self-love experiment which will help them transform self-doubt and turn it into self-love. We all have flaws or something we would like to fix, and this book serves as a compassionate guide for us to stop hating ourselves and instead become our own friends.
- “Self-care” has become almost as big a buzzword as our focus on the pursuit of “happiness”. You write, “Here’s a secret about being happy that no one talks about. You can be happy but not be in joy. It seems to me it is more important to strive for joy than to reach for happiness.” Why?
So many of us seem to want to be happy, so we are chasing the happiness illusion there. We say things like “when I lose weight, then I will be happy”, “when I meet my soul mate, then I will be more satisfied.” But these experiences are outside of us, which will always keep us in the chase. The thing about the chase is, we never get there. The chase in itself is the reward. In my own self-love experiment, instead of focusing on needing to be happy, I reframed to focus on joy. Because happy is an emotion and fleeting, but joy is an experience.
- You talk about how you struggled and battled with your inner critic, constantly feeling unlovable and unworthy, for more than three decades by not just strongly disliking yourself, but actively self-sabotaging. What are common ways we self-sabotage our happiness and our health?
I would overdo everything: overeat, overwork, over exercise, over analyze. Obsessing and worrying were my go-to form of living. My life changed when I asked myself, “What could I do with all my time and energy if I weren’t worrying or obsessing about the things I disliked about myself?” I realized my life was happening and I was missing it. So I made a conscious choice to stop listening to my inner critic and instead focus on the things I liked about myself. Eventually, this self-kindness removed the self-sabotage from my life because I was making choices from a place of love instead of fear.
- What are some of your favorite tools that help with the healing, self-love process?
One of the most powerful tools I used was writing letters to my future self, the version of me who had it figured out, who was healthy, secure, and in love with herself and life. Writing a letter to ourselves can help put things in perspective and help us trust ourselves more. Another great tool are the mantras. Using powerful, positive sayings or motivational mantras can help recondition our fearful thoughts to more loving ones. For instance, “The only thing I need to change is the thought that I need to change” or “When I love myself it’s easier to see imbalances in my life.”
- How do you advise people to start this process without getting too overwhelmed or feeling defeated from the start?
I felt overwhelmed and like self-love was a pipe dream, too. It wasn’t until I did my own self-love experiment that I learned that one step at a time, one kind thought at a time, one loving action at a time can make the changes we want. In my book, I share the process in to make finding self-love less overwhelming and more attainable. The first step is self-care. We can look at our habits and start to make more intentional habits by aligning with joy. Self-care isn’t about feeling guilty for skipping a workout or trying to get your green juice every day. If we do those things under pressure, then we aren't really caring for ourselves in a compassionate way. Instead, be kind to yourself and care for yourself from a place of love.
- What’s the biggest gift self-love has given you?
Freedom! Freedom to be who I am instead of worrying about who I should be or trying to fit into a box of what others and society says is best. Freedom from worry and self-criticism and blame, so I can focus on my dreams and goals and live a life I feel connected to. Self-love = freedom.
There you have it guys. I hope this inspired you to run out and get a copy of this life-changing book.
Link for order:
http://playwiththeworld.com/newbookgifts.html